Thursday, January 25, 2007

recovering blues

Rain for three days now and
Good time Charley’s gone with
his pregnant retarded
wife 4
kids & one in the oven his stuff’s still
out in the yard food packages from
GOODWILL bright
colors of Christmas
Wrapping broken
Toys crack
Pipes straws
With bite marks on them from
Tweaking he
Was a good wrench and a good
Hand with
More skills than he could
Use her mom said she
Was adopted was
Always a disappointment would do
Anything Charley said spend
Money she gave her for food on
Clothes but she worked
Hard at
Being a good mom it wasn’t
Evil just the mess we
Drag behind
Us so full of
Possibility so
Short on
Reality rain
Dripping
Down the big
Blank
TV
Screen mattresses
stained
With dreams

Sunday, January 14, 2007

identity, and geezer rap

identity:




I
dent
I
tee
ent I
ent I
tee
be
gin
o
me
en
o
me
chained maimed blamed famed gamed shamed all the samed
the distances
the way we're womb doomed
with no rite of
turn to
re
turn di
stances far
as the
I
can
C
I



The sexual nature of violence
Burned face
Limbs blown off
Broken arrows of sexual dominance sticking in us
Smouldering ruins shimmy like my sister kate
Since the turn of the wheel
Communication
Transportation
Dislocation
Syncopation
Now
Now
Now
Now I moving center the you moving the center
The we the me in the we in the you in the
Moving center the
Moving the
Now war now
Peace
Now this now
Broken
With trembling hands
One stone on another
Now I you I
Now I all I
Now I no I
Dead I
Moving
Center the moving
Center the moving
Walk
Talk
Eat
Shit
Die
School zone
Slow
Motel
Eat
Gas
Last chance
John Wayne Mickey Mouse
John
Wayne Mickey
Mouse
Moneywar sexwar lovewar
Seven years wasted time
Everything
Bulldozed
Nodozed
All the photos
Posed…..























Geezer Rap
>
>
>I.
>
>So
>dark it was
>always begging your pardon
>Santa Claus with a hardon
>so eager
>to please you pout put the squeeze on
>move it on
>out savor the favor the power the flowers
>I brought to you stead o walking away
>like I ought to do
>sad to think I cd. sink
>so low refuse to let go
>when you said we weren't married we were lovers
>but you fucked Chuck who did the same
>and even less than me
>guess it wasn't what I did but who I was
>pause
>and then begin again and
>walk away
>that all you wanted? O hell
>that's ok nothing and nobody is an excellent
>place to be
>beats playing yourself
>endlessly
>on TV
>must we
>
>fill the emptiness before its time
>a cosmic crime, courts in session
>here come JUDGE FUDGE, your boss, my loss
>all these years oppressing me
>preachin to me that Mozart was an asshole
>after all the money he stole
>with priviledge and shiboleth
>and beat me with
>that economic weiner
>knows how to play us
>me and Amadeus
>don't got a dignified enough demeanor
>he thinks he's an elephant acts like a hyena
>nice little Jewish boy
>in a flouncy suit that makes it moot
>getting even with his mother by kissing my wife
>on the lips at the elegant party
>as a joke and he has money so it's funny
>at least for him
>and you have to observe his value system
>so I have to shut up and find you a better car
>and join the war
>against the earth judgeships and oil as energy speculated
>beyond their worth, now we've won
>what have we got
>what have all your world shakers done
>got a gun
>
>and shot the sky
>broke my I
>can't see so
>forced to be so
>empty
>broken
>OPEN
>
>until living is the same as dying
>unborn selves never stop crying
>so all the old bones sing so
>softly o
>love
>is nothing, nothing
>is everything
>
>II
>
>
>my name was always too common my manners too poor
>guess you're a little insecure
>at least we both needed to be pure, poor
>like the ghetto kids I worked with rich
>like the jerks you flirt with is that
>all you get
>guess I better enjoy it
>hurtin like a silent non
>violent drum you beat on
>both of us locked in a conundrum with idealism
>so clean you could eat on, and all the time in a dark part
>of your heart
>you had another lover
>you were sweet on, so then so did I so which was the first failure
>yours
>or mine draw the line between false hope and real stir the
>pot with the ego and the death wish
>in the ideal let us all now
>
>rise and sing which of us holds
>the string
>to the depression
>tantrum
>
>flesh so dumb like some
>cosmic cruelty
>joke hey
>
>it's ok
>to cry
>like birds in their sleep, our voices grown soft
>and deep
>like people in a movie where everybody's
>gonna die
>
>so we can know how
>
>livng is the same as dying
>unborn selves never stop crying
>so all the old bones sing so
>softly o
>love is
>nothing, nothing
>is every thing
>
>
>III
>
>sorry bout the things I said
>jokes meant to comfort caused pain instead
>now I wish that I was dead
>or had another head
>
>too much a stranger to own my anger
>I could kill him but nothing can fill him brim
>fuller than he is of himself, so who's the elf
>guitar player like Hamlet's father's ghost at the door
>trying to make less out of more
>making up a song for a lawyer you said was sweet,
>(but some people should never meet)
>who can't control his appetite for land or money or food
>(o only the good)
>time to say goodnight
>face the distance and cruelty and darkness only
>the powerless can see
>between us all and now so soon come
>between you and me
>or always was and is forever more
>a hardwood floor
>
>he
>killed the rainforest for
>kotchke latchkey
>ivory elephants would be selves
>look down from his hardwood
>shelves at expensive shoes
>got by
>getting high on
>narrowing the issues
>his mind not unkind just blind
>got enrichened by bitchin bout personal injuries
>learn to say please with law degrees he's
>just jokin but now I'm chokin on memories
>of my largess
>turned to darkness
>in the silence of your feminine points and
>authorites I'm shaking,quaking,
>waking up every morning playing old tapes
>spoken on a broken machine
>the grass is always green
>er you and he're always meaner (if I'd known what
>I was feeling I coulda kept myself cleaner) on the other side
>of my hurt pride
>
>
>the no longer me
>bothering me identity
>as time and moments or motion into
>not me become
>I anything in the universe salt
>(of the earth) and battery
>(fists and electricity) sometimes seems
>like God just needs to empty
>the cathedral
>empty womb empty tomb silence so deep it's electric and painful
>deprivation to quantum places empty faces of rock and sand
>out west like that emptiness
>(or lightning) in my chest or hand-
>(writing goes across the wall
>y'all)
>earth equals horse and millions of sequels
>of love and war in lost motels
>silence like
>cathedral bells
>air so cold distances so far
>it aches in you
>breaks and takes
>you where
>
>living is the same as dying
>unborn selves never stop crying
>so all the old bones sing so
>softly o
>love is
>nothing, nothing
>is everything
>
>
>IV
>
>Assholes succeed
>get up to speed
>we share their greed
>I don't need
>to make it a bigger joke
>by letting them make me feel
>lower than a turd
>just because all you really wanted
>was a bigger dick
>in all the messed up senses
>of the word, nature is
>intelligent acts like it's moving
>toward a goal, how come we're so
>stupid, cause we don't get here
>to be parts of the whole? envy is insane, an abstract pain
>just the facts ma'am
>nothing to say for, you get what you pay for
>why should I give a damn
>just shut up and play
>so life's a joke so
>it is to laugh o
>NO! NO! NO! I refuse! I got
>the blues, it's too painful to be free
>of sexual tyranny
>so life's a joke so it is to laugh to watch
>them lead us over the cliff
>until we're like the guy at
>the mortuary who gets
>excited and becomes
>a little
>stiff so
>bite it take it all you bitch you
>can't indite it much less fight it
>there was a woman who swallowed the sun
>there was a man who lived in the dark
>and had to get a gun
>and he sang as he killed them all o
>baby you're the only
>one o
>
>living is the same as dying
>unborn selves are always crying
>so the old bones sing so
>softly o
>love is nothing, nothing is
>everything.
>
>V.
>
>when you are done then
>I am done then
>call 911
>ask if anybody has seen us
>something that was nothing
>has always come between us.
>Round and round the trauma of
>SPACE was our common ground
>Kansas to New Mexico those old roads
>hurt to heal me so
>emptiness started us
>emptiness ended us
>emptiness like a Greyhound bus
>I must've wanted to be broken like a kid
>needing to leave home, thought becomes DID feelings
>little by little start to roam
>still need MOM just need a push
>like a crush
>on an imaginary lover
>now I'm grown,
>naked, blamed, ashamed time has blown
>my cover
>my mind echoes like a tomb
>no wonder I wanted to go back to the womb
>fear binds time binds
>me to misery
>my aging snout
>in a permanent pout
>like there was anything
>left at this ridiculous age
>worth worrying about, living just from rage, turn
>the goddam page
>count your fingers, count your toes
>life is hell, they don't smell
>like Honeysuckle Rose
>seems like life's gone before it goes
>whata buncha brutal, futile fucksta juxta pose
>so late to see
>was that me
>in the fullness of (it was always the last)
>empty night
>before I died
>there was a catbird singing
>all the songs there could ever be
>in a mesquite tree
>it said
>
>living is the same as dying
>unborn selves never stop crying
>so the old bones sing so
>softly o
>love is
>nothing, nothing is
>everything.
>
>